Hey, let me ask you a question. If I told you about a political candidate with impeccable patriotic bona fides, a compelling backstory and a deep war chest, wouldn’t you think he’d win by a landslide or at least turn out a competitive race?
That’s what Alex Vindman and his supporters thought. But they underestimated the Larry David factor.
Vindman, a Florida Democrat, seemed a lock to win his Senate primary bid on Tuesday. A retired lieutenant colonel in the Army. A Purple Heart-decorated Iraq veteran. A whistleblower on Donald Trump for the 2019 quid pro quo attempt with Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelenskyy that led to an impeachment trial. Vindman had major name recognition. He raised $16 million ($15 million more than his opponent) and was believed to be a big favorite over said rival, Angie Nixon — a little-known Jacksonville-based member of the Florida House of Representatives.
Nixon was a DSA candidate in a state that leaned moderate, and these days really doesn’t lean Democrat at all. No way a million Democrats would give the edge to her. (The pair were battling to take on sitting Senator Ashley Moody, a Republican, to finish out the remaining two years of Marco Rubio’s term.)
But that’s exactly what happened Tuesday. Nixon swamped Vindman by more than 12 points, garnering over 700,000 of the total 1.25 million votes. She pulled off the ultimate chat-and-cut.
How could this happen for the retired Army lieutenant colonel and Soviet refugee? What did Vindman do? Did he not respect wood?
I’ll tell you what happened. What happened was Larry David.
Vindman appeared in two episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm as himself, including the series finale in which he testifies against Larry for his political bribery. David even campaigned for the candidate, sending out a fundraising text message earlier this summer (including to people who didn’t live anywhere near Florida). “The man is everything I’m not, which should give you an idea of what a tremendous person he is. Vindman is not a puppet. He loves this country. He loves it so much it’s almost off-putting. I love it too, but come on. Get a life, Vindman!”
And David, in addition to schlemieling up everything on the show, has a curse attached to him. A curse that ensures people never get the votes they should.
It’s called the Curb curse, and it seeks to explain — because there is no explanation — how David never won a writing or acting Emmy in the entire 12-season, 24-year history of the show. Yes, 120 episodes and he never got a thing. (The show won just two overall, for directing and editing.) A post on Screen Rant after his most recent strikeout and last attempt in 2024 said: “Curb Your Enthusiasm Continues a 24-Year Larry David Curse After The Show’s Ending.”
And now that the show is over, it carried over to Vindman. David couldn’t win an Emmy in 2024 and Vindman couldn’t win a primary in 2026.
If this was a Curb episode, you could almost imagine Vindman showing up at David’s house.
“You cost me the election, Larry.”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t cost you the election.”
“You cost me the election.”
“Get the hell out of here! Cost you an election. Poor Candidate Vindman. Like Al Gore. [Fake crying] Cost him an election.”
And then Vindman would angrily leave, but at the end of the episode happen to be in the Santa Monica restaurant when Larry does something untoward and the camera would pan to him and he’d tip someone off and then have his revenge. The curse would be avenged.
Of course this may not be a curse so much as, you know, simply irascibility. For the character but also the personality — the real-life David wasn’t one for the glad-handing, even at parties, and it’s not like he kissed the awards ring. He didn’t even show up to the Emmys the last time he was nominated. When you attack Elmo, you don’t get love.
That irascibility also may have singed Vindman. Who wants to get a hectoring message from David? Especially asking for money. It’s not cool de la.
Sure, if you’re trying to analyze the results of the election, you can talk about the swing of Democrats to the DSA even in a place like Florida, auguring a new future for the party. Or that many of the moderate Dems in Florida have ditched for the GOP and couldn’t vote in the state’s closed primary.
But, eh. It was probably Larry.
